What Divides A Family?

"Then He said: "A certain man had two sons, and the younger of them said to his father, "father give me the portion of goods that falls to me" So he divided to them his livelihood" (Luke 15:11-12)

There are many things that can divide a family; but one of the main divisive and destructive attitudes is that of selfishness.

The youngest son in the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15) had one thing on his mind, and that was how he might take care of number one--himself.
I know I may be reading between the lines, but I don't think I am too off course, to the lesson that Jesus was trying to get across.

This young selfish boy, didn't think about how, this taking of his inheritance, and leaving the family, would affect his father. Jesus doesn't mention a mother, but if there was a mother, she would have been devastated as well. He didn't think about his older brother, who was left to take care of his brother's part of the work load. No he only thought of himself.

The thing that we forget in a family, and that includes the church, (because the church is a family) is that everyone is important, and you have to take into consideration how your thoughts and actions will affect the lives of your loved ones.

It's not just about us, and we don't have to get our own way all the time.
If there are problems, we can work them out, so that the family as a whole will be the beneficiary of our efforts, not just us.

The Apostle Paul encourages us to "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4) 
Our families will be blessed, when we do just that! GP

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Family Expectations

"While He was still speaking to the crowds, behold, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him. Someone said to Him, “Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You.”But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother.” (Matthew 12:46-50) 

From our text, we see where Jesus places his family, in regards to His relationship with the Heavenly Father, and His purpose.

While Jesus was speaking to the people, His family show up, and want to speak to Him. Jesus gave a surprising response in the words of our text. In what He said, is Jesus saying that family is not important? No, but family is not to be more important than our relationship to God. and our ministry for Him.

But the irony of it is, that if we place God as first and foremost in our lives, our family relationships will be better, as well as all, of our relationships. God will show us from His Word, how we are to treat each other, and how we can minister to one another.

The main goal of our lives is to do the will of our Heavenly Father. In many families there are many expectations. And for some, if you don't meet those expectations, you are treated coldly. Some family members will not speak to one another for a long period of time because of this.

The greatest commandments are the expectations of our Heavenly Father. We are to love Him, with all that we have, and we are to love each other unconditionally. Yes, it is a matter of priorities, and a matter of humility and submission.

I know that even when I mess up and do not live up to the expectations of God, that He still loves me, and will not abandon me. We all need to get a grip on what is greatly important and adjust to fulfilling the will of God in all of our lives. GP

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Boundaries

"The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Yes, I have a good inheritance." (Psalm 16:6) 

A boundary is something that separates two things. Walls and fences are examples of material boundaries. There are boundaries in family relationships as well.

I realize that in society (especially society today) children are not taught concerning proper family boundaries.
It is hard to get a grasp on it, if relationships in the family have been damaged in a number of negative ways.

Growing up as I did, the relationship you had with your parents was priority. Even if you didn't get along with your parents, you respected the place they had in your life, and you worked as hard as you could to make those relationships, as good as they could be.

We all have our roles in the family. We are fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins. It is to the benefit of the family, that we understand where our priorities should be, in these relationships; so that life in the family, is not one of selfishness and resentment, but one of peace and joy.

When the Psalmist says: "The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places" 

I think of the family, and I think about where God is to be in my life.
Of course, He is to come first. I am His child. I am to be a son to my parents, a grandson to my grandparents, a brother to my siblings, a husband to my wife, a father to my children. These are my priority pleasant places, where honor, respect, and nurture, is to be given.
And as time is given, encouragement to the extended family.

Let's not overstep our boundaries, and cause jealousy and hurt.
But let's be where God has called us to be, and together reap the wonderful blessings of right relationships, according to God's plan and design. GP

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The Inner Family Circle

"Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table." (Psalm 128:3)

I have mentioned this before in posts about the family, that one of the most beautiful sites I have ever seen, is a family sitting together in a restaurant, while waiting for their food, talking and laughing and having the best time together. There is nothing more encouraging than to be apart of the family inner circle.

Some will say, when they read our text, that this is an old fashioned look at the family. The Psalmist is presenting a stay at home wife and mother, and the children are seen being around the table at regular family meals. Since I am old fashioned about the family, and old family traditions are grounded deep in my person. I would say that there is nothing wrong with that!

But more than just the old fashioned look of a family, is the importance of the love and support a family demonstrates. To have a wife that is like a fruitful vine, is to have a person that contributes greatly to a man's joy and happiness. To have his children, not just around the table, but around him constantly, is such an encouraging experience.

Extended family is important, and in my growing up experience, there were times, I didn't know where I would be without them. But to be apart of that family inner circle is a vital need and joy, as we meet the challenges of this life! GP

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A Father's Mistake

"And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, 
but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4) 

As I mentioned in the last post, we as parents are not perfect. I myself, have made many mistakes as a parent.

In writing to the Christians at Ephesus, Paul mentions a mistake that I as a father have made, and many others have made as well. That is "provoking our children to anger."

Approaching areas of correction, should not always be with anger.
To our children, it may seem that we are getting upset about everything. Always coming to blows with our children, is not a good way of communicating with them, or correcting them.

Solomon was right when he said: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) Yes, there may be times when anger is necessary, but not for all the confrontations with our children.
And to have them angry with us, only brings distance in our relationship with them.

Solomon also said that: "Behold, Children are a gift from the Lord." (Psalm 127:3) We need to treat them like they are a gift from the Lord. We need to show respect to them, in hopes that in return they will respect us, as being loving, and caring parents. GP

 Photo by David Castillo Dominici. Published on 30 November 2012 Stock photo - Image ID: 100122417 www.freedigitalphotos.net

Love Them While You Can

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12)

 I remember hearing a song recorded by Don Todd entitled: "Love Them While You Can"
 It makes me sad when I think about my father, and how much I miss him now. He has gone home to be with the Lord.
We spent a lot of time working together on the old farm. We had our ups and downs, as in any parent-child relationship. Looking back, I wish that in the later days, that we had spent more time together.

We don't have our parents with us for very long. We need to make the most of the time that we have with them. Second to our relationship with the Lord, is our relationship with out parents. I talk to my mother occasionally, but I know that I should do better than that. Being too busy, or too occupied with other things, is not a good excuse. And we will regret it later in life, that we didn't take advantage of precious time with them.

If you have a strained relationship with your parents, strive to work things out. They are not perfect, and neither are we. God will bless our time together, now and for all eternity.

Yes, we need to.... Love them, while we can! GP

Photo of my family- Patrick & Joy Patterson ©