You Don't Have To Agree With Them, To Love Them!
I remember many times, when I had disagreements with my parents. There were times when I did not speak to my parents because of our sharp disagreements. Looking back now, with both my parents gone home to heaven, it makes me think how wrong this was.
You don’t have to agree with your parents to love them—the Bible emphasizes honor and respect, not blind agreement. Scripture teaches that honoring parents is about showing care, gratitude, and dignity, even when you differ in beliefs or choices.
Key Biblical Insights
Honor ≠ Agreement
- Exodus 20:12 commands: “Honor your father and your mother…” This is about respect and value, not necessarily adopting their views.
- Ephesians 6:2 calls honoring parents “the first commandment with a promise,” linking it to blessing, not conformity.
Respect in Disagreement
- Proverbs 19:26 warns against dishonoring parents, but disagreement itself isn’t dishonor. Dishonor comes from ridicule, neglect, or contempt.
- Leviticus 19:3 says, “Each of you must respect your mother and father.” Respect can coexist with differing convictions.
Love Through Care and Gratitude
- Honoring parents includes caring for them in their needs (see Mark 7:10–12 where Jesus rebukes those who neglect parents under religious pretense).
- Love is expressed in kindness, patience, and gratitude (1 Corinthians 13), even when perspectives clash.
Practical Applications
Boundaries with Love
- You can respectfully say, “I see things differently,” while still showing kindness and maintaining relationship.
- Love means seeking peace (Romans 12:18), not erasing differences.
Adult Relationships
- As children grow, obedience shifts to honor. Adults are not commanded to obey parents in every matter, but to continue showing respect and care.
Christ’s Example
- Jesus Himself honored His earthly parents (Luke 2:51) yet prioritized God’s mission when it diverged from their understanding (Mark 3:31–35). This shows that love and honor can coexist with disagreement.
Takeaway
The Bible teaches that love for parents is expressed through honor, respect, and care—not through uniformity of thought. You can disagree with their opinions, choices, or worldview, yet still fulfill God’s command to honor them by treating them with dignity, gratitude, and compassion.
In a small village, every year the Lantern Festival lit up the night sky. A young boy named Wei grew up watching his parents work tirelessly in the rice fields, rarely having time to enjoy the celebrations. He noticed how his father’s hands were calloused and his mother’s back bent from years of labor, yet they never complained—they only smiled when Wei asked about the festival, saying, “One day, you’ll carry the light for us.”
Years passed, and Wei became a skilled craftsman. On the eve of the Lantern Festival, instead of joining his friends, he built two enormous lanterns shaped like cranes—symbols of longevity and respect. He carried them to the village square and lit them himself, dedicating them to his parents. The villagers gathered, marveling at the glowing cranes soaring above the crowd. Wei’s parents, standing quietly at the edge, were moved to tears. For the first time, they didn’t just watch the festival—they were honored at its heart.
From then on, the cranes became a tradition, reminding everyone that honoring one’s parents is not only about gratitude but about lifting them into the light they gave us.
Let's not let our disagreements destroy the time we have with our parents. This is where pride needs to be put aside, to foster wonderful moments and memories, that we can hold on to as we journey through this life.
Photo: LeoEspina - Pixabay.com